You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
