I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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