Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Randomize
