Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
