A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
