I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
