who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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