The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
you have to choose: penises or morals?
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
