So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
