Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
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