giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
