Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
