are you still at the devil's house?
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
