is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Randomize
