kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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