dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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