The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
