I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
zippers are such a cool invention
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Just puked most of my soul out..
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
