I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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