he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
