its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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