Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
