After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
