stop calling my apartment porn island.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize