someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
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