I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
can u get pink eye on your cock?
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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