hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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