I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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