the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
