How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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