I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Randomize
