when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Randomize