Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
i need some magic done to my vagina
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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