every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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