I feel great
I just peed on a car
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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