Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
well most of my day revolves around power hour
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
