i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
the condom got lost in my hair
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
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