So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
