he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
