Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
