Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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