Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
