Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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