It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Randomize
