Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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