I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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