i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
