We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
