I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize