Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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