i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize