defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
it was like having sex with a tree stump
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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