I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
im six kinds of drunk right now
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
