a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
