i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
im six kinds of drunk right now
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
