We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
His nipple licking is glorious
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