I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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