break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
