I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I cut my penus on the lid.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
