i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize